Earlier this month, Christina Dent took a trip with her husband to celebrate 20 years of marriage. Just before she left, she spent an hour recording a podcast episode with Dr. Lisa Stanton, who holds a PhD in Social Psychology.
On the episode, Lisa is incredibly vulnerable about her struggle with alcohol addiction, among other drugs. Even though she had earned the nickname “blackout Lisa” among close friends, she hid her addiction from most people behind incredible professional success and accolades. She opens up about relapse, sobriety dates, and how her family responded when she admitted she hadn’t been honest with them.
If you’re questioning your own substance use or struggling to love someone through relapse, Lisa has encouragement for you.
Two Big Questions About Drugs and Families
As Christina wrapped up on her last day of work before the trip, the very last email she opened before shutting her laptop down was from a woman she’ll call Charity. Charity had gotten a copy of Curious the day before and stayed up late to finish it.
Charity shared some of her story as a woman who grew up in the conservative Christian homeschooling community like Christina did, is a foster mom like Christina was, and has been on a journey of learning as well.
Then she asked two questions that are really crucial, and we think the answers might interest others too.
Charity’s first question was:
If we don’t criminalize drugs or criminalize people for possessing them, how do we keep children safe? Could we still check on them and intervene if there’s evidence of abuse or neglect because of their parents’ drug use?
A resounding yes. If there’s evidence of abuse or neglect, no matter if the parents are using drugs or not, we need to check on those kids.
In the same way that we don’t assume all parents who drink alcohol are abusing their kids, though some do, we shouldn’t assume that all parents who use other drugs are abusing their kids.
Nor should we assume that abstinent parents aren’t abusing their kids. Nothing that End It For Good advocates for would prevent the child welfare system from investigating evidence of abuse or neglect, full stop.
Charity’s second question was:
Should there be a line between drug use and actions as a result of drug use that endanger others?
Another resounding yes. Just like with alcohol use, we distinguish between a person’s choice to drink (legal) and their choice to put others at risk by drinking and driving (illegal). We need those same categories to extend to other drugs. Just because we don’t arrest someone for drug possession doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be arrested for public drug use, driving under the influence of drugs, assaulting someone, etc.
Charity closed her email by thanking Christina for giving her not just things to think about but things to do to be part of the solution.